Ep 7: Planting and Cultivating Seeds of Vision with Motivational Speaker, AJ Sarcione
“When you align your internal values with your external actions, you create a life that’s in resonance with who you truly are.” - AJ Sarcione
About this Episode
In this episode of Seeking the Overlap, Baily sits down with AJ Sarcione, a global motivational speaker, author, and her co-creator of the Showcase Your Shine Masterclass. Together, they explore the evolution of their relationship, which began with an introduction by a mutual friend in 2020 and has since grown into a powerful collaboration and friendship.
Baily and AJ discuss the importance of nurturing connections, staying open to growth, and how resilience plays a crucial role in creating meaningful relationships. AJ shares his insights on aligning internal values with external actions, building authentic connections, and how investing in others can create a lasting impact, both personally and professionally. Tune in for practical strategies on fostering relationships that matter and living a life aligned with your purpose.
Topics Covered
The introduction that sparked a long-term personal and professional relationship
Resilience as a key driver in deepening connections and creating new opportunities
Aligning your internal values with your external actions for greater fulfillment
Strategies for nurturing meaningful connections and avoiding surface-level interactions
Insights into Showcase Your Shine and its impact on personal growth and connection
Resources Mentioned
Visit AJ's website
Get on the waitlist for the next Showcase Your Shine Masterclass
About the Guest
AJ Sarcione is a global motivational speaker, author, facilitator, and advisor dedicated to creating a Highly Resonant™ world. With a background as a senior executive in communications and marketing, AJ has worked internationally, engaging with entire organizations while collaborating directly with the C-Suite to drive synergy, branding, messaging, culture, and leadership. As the former Head of MOJO & Employee Experience at Verizon and Head of Internal Marketing & Branding at Yahoo, AJ saw firsthand how resonance—the alignment of internal values with external actions—can transform a workplace, elevate a brand, and inspire personal growth.
Drawing on over 17 years of experience across technology, entertainment, digital media, and consumer products, AJ specializes in transformational communication and marketing strategies that build from within. He leverages the science and tools of HeartMath®, social-emotional learning (SEL), and positive psychology to create lasting change. AJ’s career began in the dynamic world of PR, where he honed the art of external communications for both established and emerging brands. Over time, he discovered that true, lasting impact starts from within, leading him to focus on internal marketing and communications. Today, AJ helps companies and leaders build their brands and reputations from the inside out, fostering authentic connections, transparent communication, and a culture where every voice is valued.
Timestamps
00:00 Introduction to Seeking the Overlap
05:26 Resilience and New Beginnings
08:50 Finding Overlap and Building Bridges
14:30 Defining Our Shared Vision
15:04 The Power of Daily Decisions
16:15 Nurturing Relationships and Growth
19:25 Harnessing Imagination and Intuition
24:37 Embracing Uncertainty and Taking Action
Interview Transcript
Introduction to Seeking the Overlap
Baily Hancock: welcome to Seeking the Overlap, the podcast where we're creating a more connected world, one conversation at a time. I'm connection strategist, professional friend maker, and your host, Baily Hancock.
Have you ever had a meeting with someone that didn't seem all that significant at the time, but years later, it blossomed into something so much bigger? In this episode, Episode I'm joined AJ Sarcione, a global motivational speaker, Author, facilitator, and adviser who is dedicated to helping people create what he calls a highly resonant life. AJ's career has taken him from leading communications at Verizon and Yahoo to helping individuals and companies align their values with their actions.
AJ and I are also the co-creators of the Showcase Your Shine masterclass designed to help people align their internal values with their external actions, build authentic connections, and leverage their strengths to make a lasting impact in both their personal and professional lives.
What's even more special is the story of how AJ and I met, and how that connection has evolved into a deep, meaningful friendship and really impactful collaboration for both of our businesses. We're going to be talking about how to nurture relationships that might not seem too significant at first, the importance of staying open to opportunities for connection, and how investing in others can help you grow. AJ also shares his insights on using resilience to open new doors, meeting people where they are, and finding overlap in our values and goals.
Plus, we're going to reflect on how those small seeds we plant relationships today can yield incredible fruit in the future.
Welcome to Seeking the Overlap.
AJ Sarcione: I'm so excited.
Baily Hancock: I cannot wait to talk to you, but before we get going, let's help the listeners get to know you better.
Three Truths No Lies Game
Baily Hancock: So we're going to play three truths no lies. Are you ready?
AJ Sarcione: I'm ready.
Baily Hancock: Okay. What is a food that reminds you of your twenties?
AJ Sarcione: There were these like coconut oil chocolate bar candy things that this really fabulous person who was in my life introduced me to. I made them in my apartment when I lived in Beverly Hills. And I just vividly remember like standing there doing my juice and then eating these like coconut oil, ball things that were amazing.
Baily Hancock: Okay. Question two, if you remember, what is something your teachers used to write about you on your report card?
AJ Sarcione: I can't necessarily remember my report card, but I remember when I went to apply for boarding school and my music teacher in middle school wrote about how conscientious I was.
And still to this day, it's one of the things that I think it was so meaningful in my life at that time to recognize the importance, not only of maybe having that at a young age, but then, being confident or comfortable enough to be that way, in a young environment where we're all just probably trying to fit in and wanting to be loved and liked by people. And then, I think she was really talking about something deep inside of myself that I feel like it's still true today.
Baily Hancock: Okay, final question. What is your group game personality type?
AJ Sarcione: For me, games are a connection with people and that if you look at them just for the joy and the happiness that they can bring. And I think that in a way that's kind of part of how I lead my life, to be quite honest. We need a box to help move us forward and know where we're headed, but we should be confident to be able to break the boundaries of that box, to let what's special about each of us redefine how cool something can be.
Baily Hancock: So good. Thank you for playing three truth, no lies. Let's get into.
The Story of Our Connection
Baily Hancock: You and I are such a good case study in what it can look like to have a slow burn in terms of a connection, which can then lead to like fireworks, ultimately. You and I were connected by our mutual friend, Melissa back in March 2020. We got together for coffee at your coworking space, we hit it off, but then, as things go especially when you have a pandemic that pops up right after we connected on social, like there was no real obvious next step when we connected, it was just like, you're cool. It'd be nice to chat again. So then fast forward, the pandemic happens. We still, from time to time comment on each other's Instagram posts.
I was definitely being very vulnerable and transparent throughout 2020 because my business was doing very badly. It like stopped overnight.
And I remember you like sending me a DM that was just so sweet. And I remember thinking like, wow, he doesn't really know me, but I feel so seen by him and I feel so supported from this person that I had this brief encounter with, so it was so nice.
But that was the extent of our connection throughout those four years.
AJ Sarcione: First of all, I'm so glad that we did meet and that it was, just before the world shut down because it's obviously been important for where our friendship is now.
Baily Hancock: You were part of the mass exodus out of LA at the end of 2020. So you leave less than a year after we met. We're just internet friends at that point. No other conversations beyond social media. Fast forward to the beginning of 2024, I'm laid off from my job, I'm spending a lot of time on LinkedIn because when I don't know what else to do, I connect with people. I'm spending a lot of time in the feed, just commenting and seeing who's posting what. I saw you post something, so I commented, we DMD each other, we got a call on the books. So when you and I connected it was like we had been friends the whole time. So that's special.
And we we're able to see each other where we were at that point in time. You immediately had my number and I was figuring out what is this business? What is my offer? I was posting a ton on LinkedIn, but there was no real strategy. And I remember you saying to me is it okay if I reflect back to you some things that I'm seeing?
And I was like yeah. Okay. And that was the beginning into us really starting to deepen and nurture a relationship that was based upon the foundation of transparency and genuine mutual support. And that was a really important starting foundation.
Resilience and New Opportunities
AJ Sarcione: One of the things that I talk about is that resilience will keep opening new doors. And not every time when you meet someone is the right time. so unless there's an intention and you and I didn't set intentions when we met that first time, and that was fine. And frankly, the world shut down.
One of the things that I really try to encourage inside of people is to look for new doors when you are on your journey to whatever it is that you're trying to create in your life. What I think both of us are promoting in the world we actually live by because when opportunity presented itself to have meaningful connection, we created that again.
I think that we changed the world one person at a time. And that's why, as much as I love doing the corporate work, I'm so inspired, helping one person, find deeper connection with their self.
Moving to Texas has been another proof point in that because we move to a community where there's not a lot of people that Are like me and my partner. Visually we may look similar, but when you get to know us and who we are and in our lifestyle, we're very different than a lot of people here, where it's a very straight white community. And When we moved here, I told Ben, we got to meet people where they're at, because if we move there and we just talk about our life, the way that we probably know how to talk about it in LA, it's going to be very foreign and that could create a lot of fear.
When we meet people where they're at, wow, we have such an opportunity to change their perspective and to shape their perception of maybe what they think gay people are and shift that to something that could be so much of a more well rounded view.
And that literally happened. I love the level of impact that makes in the world because, while it might seem small that you change like just this one group of people, a family or even an individual person, as long as they feel safe in what that changes and the transformation is that you've created in them. It makes them so powerful to go out and make someone else feel safe too.
Finding Common Ground
Baily Hancock: You found the overlap, right? And the overlap was not in your identity or your beliefs likely, but you found something in the overlap, which allowed those other people to not fear you and to not think of you as other. And that is the whole thing. It's really hard to have empathy and to connect with somebody who you feel like you have nothing in common with. But we all have something in common with every single person on this planet, even if it's just that we both live on Earth. If that is the overlap, start there.
And that's what you did. Because then once you find that overlap with somebody, you can start to feel safe exploring the parts of your circles that do not overlap. And that is where change happens. That's where connection really happens. Yes. Initial connection happens in the overlap, but I think deeper connection and expansion and evolution happens when you can look at each other's separate parts of the circle and say, I don't have that in my circle, but I know who you are because we intersect here.
I welcome that part too. And even better, if you can look at what's in the other person's circle and say, Oh, thank goodness you have that because I don't have that in my circle.
Now we can be so much more effective together because we're bringing different things to the table.
AJ Sarcione: A hundred percent. I'm a practitioner and a certified trainer of heart math, the study of the way that the science and research of our heart can drive optimal performance and it's integrated a lot into my work. The number one driver to a negative depleting emotion is judgment. And I think the hardest way to create overlap with people is that thing of judgment.
We are different. There's nothing the same. It automatically disconnects the two circles. But when you move away from judgment, and you actually lean into what drives us on the other side of positive, renewing emotion, gratitude, appreciation, care.
When we meet on the things that actually matter to anyone, love, safety, these fundamental things that we all share, we can find that overlap more easily.
And when you find ways to communicate with people in those common denominators through your individual circles, broaden people's perspective and shape perception. And that's fundamental in my work. That's why you and I work together. My belief that the experiences we create for others has the ability to shift perspective and shape perception is core in what I say.
That's why you and I found a need to work together because our overlap is I really do believe like where people shine and why we say showcase your shine in our work. It brings the best of our both worlds together to actually make the magic that can happen in people's lives.
Intentional Sharing and Vulnerability
Baily Hancock: Taking this exactly back to the beginning of when we reconnected and you said to me I see you out here posting, I see that you're sharing so much of yourself and you're being really vulnerable. And what if you were a little bit more intentional about how you shared that vulnerability or how you shared what you were sharing. What you were reflecting to me was I hadn't fully asked myself the questions that you're so good at asking your clients around what is the whole purpose of all of this? Like, where are we trying to go here? What are the values that you're living by? What is your personal manifesto?
Have you ever given thought to it? Have you ever been intentional about it? And for me, I tend to be such a sharer and so transparent that I won't often pause to think, okay, I want to share this, but why and how can I share it in a way that serves this greater purpose?
What was so great about our first conversation. First of all, we immediately were like, we should do this again. And I think we even said okay, let's set up two more calls. One where AJ will reflect to me, you'll dig into my brand. And then the next call I'll do the same for you around, like, how are you really getting the word out and leveraging your community to showcase the work that you're doing? So it began as this very, just Hey, we'll do a swap of our time, right? Because when you're on a call with somebody, you get 30 minutes, you don't have a lot of time to dig in. And then there's the fear of Oh, you just did this really kind thing for me. I want to give you that amount of time back. So we gave ourselves two more calls to be able to reflect to each other. It was so special to have you stop and say, Hey, hold on you're moving really fast. What's the foundation of what you're trying to do? Before you go out there just fire hosing vulnerability all over the internet.
AJ Sarcione: My career began in external reputation building and PR. And so what I was really recognizing is like that past of my career looking and saying, how do I protect you?
Baily Hancock: Yeah, it was it was such an unexpected, kind and generous thing to And then it obviously opened the door for everything that came after.
Collaborative Growth
Baily Hancock: At some point in our early conversations, we were just talking about the work that we each do not the specific programs, but the big picture. Like, what are we each doing here? And we realized that you and I, come at the same thing from you, the inside and me, the outside, your internal work with people, helping them figure out their personal manifesto and their values. And what is their big picture purpose? And me saying, how are you going to get the word out?
How are you going to establish yourself as an expert? How are you going to get opportunities through the three C's community connection collaboration?
Baily Hancock: We realized you were doing inner, I was doing outer. And ultimately those were our two circles. And our overlap was leaving a legacy, having a bigger impact in the world, like having a career and a life that actually made a difference in the world.
AJ Sarcione: I think that while you and I have created something that allows people to look way ahead and say, what do I want to leave behind?
Impact Starts Now
AJ Sarcione: The reality is , the impact is now.
You can apply our work that we've created together today to change what you're doing today. That influences the future.
Baily Hancock: The future is just a series of moments now, right? The decisions you make every single day, the people that you interact with, just like you said at the beginning on a small level, you can change the world with one on one interactions.
The Importance of a Guiding Light
Baily Hancock: And I think that if you don't have a clear north star or a guiding light or a compass that you're operating from, it's easy to just let today go by and then tomorrow go by and then suddenly you're at the end of your life and you're like, What did I actually do?
AJ Sarcione: 100 percent. You can make investments in your life today that could change your tomorrow
Baily Hancock: What we do as a whole is truly help people showcase their shine.
Planting Seeds for the Future
Baily Hancock: It's helping people plant a tree today so that they're not regretful in 20 years. That, even in and of itself, I don't think is the purpose of our relationship. I think we're not going to truly know the long term impact of these seeds that we've planted at the start of 2024 for a long time.
I have a hundred year old avocado trees outside of my house. I'm five years in the living here. I have no idea what the seasonality is on these suckers.
They just show up one day and we're like, Oh my God, they're back. And then they're all gone. And we're like, Oh crap. We ate them all. We didn't realize.
The Seasonality of Relationships
Baily Hancock: So I feel like that's how relationships are. I think you just have to keep watering and you have to keep appreciating the avocados when they show up and then being like, Oh man, they're gone, but that's okay.
because I know there'll be back. I think the fruit bearing tree that is us is going to be continuously generative year after year. And there may be seasonality of no fruit. And then there might be an abundance, right?
Having a strong foundation of the overall what that you're hoping to do on a micro and macro level, and then being totally open to the how to what ends up taking shape and not being so rigid with how things play out. And, you know, you hear that with like manifestation, it's think of how you want to feel, not the specifics, not the details. Like what's the feeling you're hoping to achieve here. And I think the same can be said for your goals.
Goals and Feelings
Baily Hancock: If your goal is to be a multimillionaire. What are you actually trying to do with that goal? Are you trying to feel secure? Are you trying to feel safe? Are you trying to feel generous? Are you trying to feel impactful? What's the point of that money? It's not having the money. It's what are you going to do with that money? That is the feeling you're seeking.
That's the beauty in your work too, is really getting to the core of what do you want? Not specifically the thing you want to have, it's what's the feeling you're going for here, whether it's today, whether it's weekly in your job, or whether it's when you're on your deathbed, what is it that you want, and then with the three C's, it's just a means to achieving that.
And because you can't really control people, you don't really know how people are going to support you, you just have to find the right ones and nurture those relationships.
People as Portals
Baily Hancock: People are portals. And I think that when you have a clear understanding of the what, what is it that you want, whether it's the feeling or the thing, You can find these portals to walk through.
And if you have a clear understanding of where you're hoping to go, you'll know which portals to walk through and which ones to pass by. And that's not to say that you're using people or anything like that. People bring to you opportunities. And if you don't have clarity around what it is that you're hoping to achieve, you're going to just randomly choose portals to walk through, which can be fun, but it's also not super strategic and impactful for anybody.
So I think that's why our work together is so special because it's like, you're almost creating a map or a guide for yourself with your work and with my work, you're able to actually start moving in that direction.
AJ Sarcione: It is As much of seeing other portals and then rather than just knowing how they may benefit you to get what it is that you want, but how you can lean into those portals to support them on getting what it is that they want
Baily Hancock: Oh yeah, it's a two way portal situation.
AJ Sarcione: Yeah.
In my spark workbook, there's a chapter called building others builds you. And I really think that when we invest in other people and help them, there's so much growth that comes back to us, whether it's relearning something that we've forgotten ourselves, or just the way that people want to return, Favors and, and appreciation back to you is really significant.
The Power of Imagination
AJ Sarcione: With, the work that I'm doing on the internal side called the imagination method, and the reason why I love the imagination method is that by the age of about 35 years old there's only about 30 percent of us using active imagination.
And that's. So wild because it's a free resource that frankly humans. Pretty much are the only ones that have, and it's something very special to us and there's 70 percent of people that don't even tap into the active power of imagination, which is where innovation and growth happens.
And I love the use of the method because It really helps to inspire the growth mindset versus the limited mindset, which again is another point of overlap for you and I, we both naturally live in a growth mindset state, which is why the first call happened, why the three calls happened, why now the 45 calls happened because that's in the growth mindset.
That's you leaning into the possibility where a lot of other people get stuck in limited mindset. And if they don't feel like by the end of the call, the problem will be solved or whatever it may be, then they don't lean in and they miss out on the portal.
Growth Mindset and Community
AJ Sarcione: I think that for us, another amazing overlap is a natural sense of growth mindset that we share. They say you're the sum of the five people around you or something of that nature.
It's because the energy of the People that are around us influence us. That is science. That is based upon our evolution. So if we are around a lot of limited mindset, it's going to naturally cause us to start to function in a way, Okay. unless you take time to use heart math and build stronger coherence and use your coherence to reshape the incoherence of a limited mindset around you.
Baily Hancock: One of those is way easier than the other. surrounding yourself with higher vibe people or people that have those mindsets you want way easier than trying to change people around you.
AJ Sarcione: Yes. And so I think that that's another wow for me that you and I share. We are bringing together people with a share shared spirit and belief that there's something better.
And that may come from a place of burnout may come from a place of feeling depleted and knowing that you want something more and you want to be a part of a community That has that growth mindset that has that willingness to believe, or you may be someone that is in there and you want to be surrounded by more people so you aren't losing it in a world where there's a lot of complainers.
Maybe we didn't even really realize what we were doing by creating what we were creating, but bringing people together that have that overlap or that seek that overlap is what our program does, which is really cool.
Baily Hancock: It is really cool. I think there's going to be so many iterations of showcase your shine and I'm really excited for that because I think you and I also both thrive in change, which is not typical, and I think we both feel more comfortable sort of switching things up and trying new ways of doing something so I'm excited to see how this evolves.
The Evolution of Our Friendship
Baily Hancock: And frankly, I'm more excited to see how our friendship evolves over time because we've only really been at this since earlier this year. And I think our relationship is so much deeper, our friendship has evolved out of this.
I just want to put a point on this for everybody listening that AJ and I could have met four and a half years ago and remained Instagram and LinkedIn friends and had that be it. Maybe we send a person each other's way here and there, and, that could have been the end of it. Even after reconnecting and hopping on those calls, we could have done our swap and then been like, okay, we'll keep me posted on how I can support you. And then that could have been the end of it. And that would have been fine. And who knows, we maybe would have found our way back to each other at some point in the future but for whatever reason, we planted those seeds. And then we're like I think I'm actually going to give a little extra attention to these seeds. I've lost count of how many conversations I've had, but it's well over 300 at this point throughout 2024 and I've planted a lot of seeds.
Some of them are poking through the ground. Most of them are not. Some of them are starting to yield fruit like ours, which is so cool to see.
Nurturing Relationships and Intuition
Baily Hancock: So I just want everybody listening to hear that it truly is up to you to give a little bit of extra care to particular seeds to particular relationships, and I can't say it's because I ran the math and was like AJ has a highest probability of becoming somebody that does something for me.
No, it was a feeling. And I imagine you're the same. But so many of the relationships I have that for one reason or another, I choose to invest more in. It's just a feeling. There's something there and without knowing where it's going to end up.
Like you don't know and that's the excitement and the terror of loving anything or anybody investing any sort of energy or effort into any other human is you don't know how it's going to play out and you do it anyway.
AJ Sarcione: Yeah a hundred percent and I think you're talking a lot about intuition and we all have it. A lot of us don't know how to utilize it. Some of it, sometimes it comes more naturally, but I do know from the science around our intuition that when we're leaning into Our heart rate variability and establishing more coherence, it positions us to have a higher connection to our intuition to be able to do what it is that you're talking about, where even when we have calls that aren't delivering the best Like happy, joyful, which is most of the time our calls, but the ones that are tough, that cause us to ask tough questions that cause us to feel overwhelmed, that cause us to feel anxious, that cause us to feel frustrated.
Those are natural human feelings that you have. And so when you lean into the seeds that you're talking about, there are going to be times where As you lean in and you're watering it, you're like, why is this damn thing not growing? Why is this thing taking so long? Why did one of the leaves die? And you have to have a deep connection with self to be able to continue to recognize your intuition and keep watering, keep putting fertilizer into the soil, keep providing the sunlight to it and allow it to grow to what it's going to be. And sometimes that'll grow into a massively incredible crop, like you said, and other times it may just be, a smaller thing and you can't give up on it. If you choose to allow something to die, Guess what happens with plants? Sometimes they come back on their own because they're like, yeah, I'm not going away and then you get amazed by them and you go back and you're like, okay, I'll tend to it again. Or sometimes they just go away and that's okay too, but then you can come back and replant seeds later on if you find the desire to do it.
Baily Hancock: My friend Diane had the most incredible thing to say when I was complaining to her like God, I planted all these seeds and then they grew and I just let the tomatoes rot on the vine. And she's like, yeah, but do you know what happens when a tomato falls from the plant and just falls into the soil? Those seeds replant themselves. And you might get 10 new plants out of the rotten tomato that you didn't pick when it was ready. So nothing is for nothing. That's something I've been saying for a decade now, nothing is for nothing, regardless of the scenario. It's even if a conversation did not end up yielding fruit and you're like was that a waste of time?
Absolutely not. Because I think every conversation, every interaction, every connection, every relationship, regardless of how healthy or frail it is, it ultimately helps to go back and nourish the soil in which all of your other relationships are rooted.
Timing and Open-Mindedness
Baily Hancock: Timing is everything, calls happen when they're going to happen and life's going to happen when it's going to happen, and it doesn't have to mean anything about the relationship. It just means maybe not right now, or it wasn't before, but Oh my God, now this makes sense.
Have an open mind. I think that's the other big moral of the story here from this conversation. Be open to seeing things play out how they're going to play out. And I think if you can remain steadfast in your desires, in your values, in your big picture goals and the feelings you want to have and the impact you want to have, then life becomes a lot more exciting and fun. Because then it's a matter of just being like, ooh, what's going to happen next? I have no idea, but I'm not too attached to any particular outcome. I'm here for the ride and I'm going to trust that things are playing out as they should so long as I've been intentional about the seeds I've planted, the watering, the nurturing that I've done, I'll pick whatever fruit ends up showing up and understanding that like, yeah, that's exactly what was supposed to pop through right when it did.
Taking Action and Reaching Out
AJ Sarcione: Take action, whatever that is. And if that means getting on LinkedIn like you did, commenting on someone's post or reaching out to an old connection or posting something that is deep inside yourself. It takes one other person to find interest in whatever it may be that you did to literally be that next seed. So do something, just take some action.
Baily Hancock: Reach out, just reach out to one person. Doesn't matter. Put yourself out there and then let the portals appear because that is truly how it works.
Conclusion and Gratitude
Baily Hancock: All right, AJ, I'm so grateful for you and I love you dearly. And I'm So lucky to know you. And now I'm so glad that everybody listening knows you too. And everybody just be on the lookout for the next opportunity to get in on showcase your shine, Cause it's just going to keep getting better and better, I promise.
AJ Sarcione: Thank you, Baily. I love you too. I appreciate you having me.
Baily Hancock: Thanks for listening to this episode of seeking the overlap. I would be so grateful if you would take a second to rate review and subscribe, it really does help others discover the show. And if you share this episode on social, be sure to tag me at Baily Hancock so I can send you some love. Until next time, happy connecting.
